Males need to do more work in the home in order to pull their weight.
Saying that both men AND women need better jobs isn't solving that, and I understand you want to tiptoe around the male ego because they fall apart over the smallest thing.
Having left a corporate job last year because the prospect of spending the next 30 years of my life “living to work” was killing my soul, I can’t tell you how validating this post is. I was surrounded by workaholics (mostly women, too), and my desire for balance felt weak and shameful. Thank you for being a reasonable voice which echoes my own thoughts.
Well done, Christina!! It is not easy to swim upstream in a situation like the one you describe, and I am familiar with the feeling that one's (very reasonable) desire for balance is evidence of being underdeveloped or weak. I've been thinking a lot about how we got here, and it's quite clear that this recent incarnation of what we now call "work" is actually very recent; there are a lot of other models we could be drawing on that were more nourishing and correctly proportioned for a healthy life.
Awesome article. I'm really glad more women are coming to see what we lost in thatl decision of feminism to focus on earning outside the home. To be fair, i think that was the only option at the time - if women hadn't proved they could work and earn like men, nobody would ever have taken seriously any attempts to raise the status of in-home work and caregiving. But I think the real challenge now for all of us is how to restore value to care work, maintaining the home and social connection, and other traditionally female 'occupations' that are vital but undervalued. Ecofeminism always attracted me but usually also had what I saw as anti-science bias - I'm all for natural where possible, but not using positive developments in modern medicine and technology seems to me a 'luxury belief'.
Your idea is interesting that women working and earning like men was a necessary interim step on the road to the appropriate valuation of caregiving. I do think you're right that people are coming around to a deeper appreciation of care work. It's so unfortunate that, for so many people, there's just such a paucity of care; so many folks so rarely experience a kindness. Adjacently, a lot of heavyweight caregivers--mostly women, of course--who care for loved ones who are chronically ill or impaired don't get much care themselves. I guess it's all a big reminder to turn up the love and kindness; it's pretty broadly needed.
Yes, the lack of care overall is disheartening. I think it's partly lack of time, combined with atomisation/distance from extended family and community (with both parents working in a family, who has time to do routine care / maintenance for house and posessions? Hence throw away culture, instant meals etc.) And care for carers is pretty non-existant unless you're lucky enough to be near extended family or to be able to pay for respite. What also worries me is loss of care and maintenance skills - how to care for a baby or elderly disabled person, how to look after your things to extend their life. That is no longer routinely passed down generations, so knowledge has been lost.
Just an excellent read! Thank you. There’s a bunch of conversation on Instagram this week as two prominent women sort of “came out” against (modern liberal) feminism.
Fascinating about the Dorothy Day thing. Not to be cynical but my intuition tells me it was purposeful exclusion.
Males need to do more work in the home in order to pull their weight.
Saying that both men AND women need better jobs isn't solving that, and I understand you want to tiptoe around the male ego because they fall apart over the smallest thing.
But nothing will change until that happens.
Having left a corporate job last year because the prospect of spending the next 30 years of my life “living to work” was killing my soul, I can’t tell you how validating this post is. I was surrounded by workaholics (mostly women, too), and my desire for balance felt weak and shameful. Thank you for being a reasonable voice which echoes my own thoughts.
Well done, Christina!! It is not easy to swim upstream in a situation like the one you describe, and I am familiar with the feeling that one's (very reasonable) desire for balance is evidence of being underdeveloped or weak. I've been thinking a lot about how we got here, and it's quite clear that this recent incarnation of what we now call "work" is actually very recent; there are a lot of other models we could be drawing on that were more nourishing and correctly proportioned for a healthy life.
I hope you write about them! I’d love to read more of your thoughts on this.
Awesome article. I'm really glad more women are coming to see what we lost in thatl decision of feminism to focus on earning outside the home. To be fair, i think that was the only option at the time - if women hadn't proved they could work and earn like men, nobody would ever have taken seriously any attempts to raise the status of in-home work and caregiving. But I think the real challenge now for all of us is how to restore value to care work, maintaining the home and social connection, and other traditionally female 'occupations' that are vital but undervalued. Ecofeminism always attracted me but usually also had what I saw as anti-science bias - I'm all for natural where possible, but not using positive developments in modern medicine and technology seems to me a 'luxury belief'.
Your idea is interesting that women working and earning like men was a necessary interim step on the road to the appropriate valuation of caregiving. I do think you're right that people are coming around to a deeper appreciation of care work. It's so unfortunate that, for so many people, there's just such a paucity of care; so many folks so rarely experience a kindness. Adjacently, a lot of heavyweight caregivers--mostly women, of course--who care for loved ones who are chronically ill or impaired don't get much care themselves. I guess it's all a big reminder to turn up the love and kindness; it's pretty broadly needed.
Yes, the lack of care overall is disheartening. I think it's partly lack of time, combined with atomisation/distance from extended family and community (with both parents working in a family, who has time to do routine care / maintenance for house and posessions? Hence throw away culture, instant meals etc.) And care for carers is pretty non-existant unless you're lucky enough to be near extended family or to be able to pay for respite. What also worries me is loss of care and maintenance skills - how to care for a baby or elderly disabled person, how to look after your things to extend their life. That is no longer routinely passed down generations, so knowledge has been lost.
Just an excellent read! Thank you. There’s a bunch of conversation on Instagram this week as two prominent women sort of “came out” against (modern liberal) feminism.
Fascinating about the Dorothy Day thing. Not to be cynical but my intuition tells me it was purposeful exclusion.
My intuition nudges me in that direction too, Amber. So interesting about the Instagram conversation you mention: Who are the women who "came out"?
Yolande Norris-Clark and Kelly Brogan